Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
