when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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