Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
