I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
