it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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