it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
