I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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