Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The dick lei will go down in squad history
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
