you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
