so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
