I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
