That's intense
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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