Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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