If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
