Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
