He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize