Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
