Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
