There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We got so high we made milksteak
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
