you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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