That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
