It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
