There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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