How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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