I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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