Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
