Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Sober January is a disaster.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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