my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
