We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
