Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Randomize
