I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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