is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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