belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Randomize
