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• (347): View more from New York

  weddingsv make me drug and hornr

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes

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• (585): View more from New York

  I just need some of your time and all of your body.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.

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