I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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