Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize