if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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