Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
