he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
