To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
did i walk over a car last night?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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