I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
