weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You were trust falling into bushes
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize