And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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