when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
