Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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