careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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