similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
