So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
