i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
