He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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