she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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