Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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