I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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