Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
