you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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