Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
