I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
