You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
