sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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